


Hush

by Sycophantism



Series: Sy's One-Shots [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dissociation, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 19:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3821983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sycophantism/pseuds/Sycophantism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This'll be the first in a series of one-shots inspired by pictures on tumblr. I'll be linking back to them in every fic. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Hush

**Author's Note:**

> This'll be the first in a series of one-shots inspired by pictures on tumblr. I'll be linking back to them in every fic. Enjoy!

Music.

He wanted his music.

There was no world around him. Blackness, silence, like he was weightless, but a tremendous gravity was pressing down on him. Trapped inside of himself. He couldn't move, not even his lips, not even his fingertips. The beat of his heart was a drum inside of his body, steady and consistent and wrong. Panic welled in his brain, a hyperventilation that didn't reach his lungs. The disconnect between his mind and his body was...

 

Every breath shivered in and out of his nose. He could feel it against the plastic pressed up against his face. Black eyes covered his own, blinding him and staring out at the world stolen from him. Blood tingled in his fingers, his hands, his arms, circulation beneath the elbow weak. He wanted to flex them, to fix this problem. He couldn't move. 

Truth be told, he didn't know when he started crying. There was no conscious decision on his part, not even an instinctive recognition that the tears had appeared in his eyes. He stared straight ahead into nothing and he wondered if he was hallucinating the feeling of cool water on his cheeks. It was more sensation, and he clung onto it, breath catching briefly at the surge of desperation in his chest to just _feel_ something. Something new. Something outside. 

His body resumed its routine and he wanted to scream. A self-defense mechanism that had backfired. _Be calm._ He responded on reflex, on instinct. He had to remain calm. His body was calm. 

His mind wasn't calm.

 

He was scared. Time was beginning to feel disjointed, meaningless. It was abstract and out of reach. Fractured. He tried to count his heartbeats but he forgot what number he was at. He tried to count the seconds of his breaths but he lost track between the inhale and the ex. He wanted...

 

He hated it. He would hate it when it was over. He knew that. He knew himself. He knew himself, and they knew him. They knew he was scared. They knew his weaknesses. They knew how to break him. He wanted to hate it but he couldn't feel anything.

 

He was so scared.

 

There was a scream rattling around on the inside of his skull but there wasn't even a hitch in his breathing. He wanted to cry. He wanted to be free from this nightmare. 

The disconnect was worse. It was the exact same, and that made it worse. He wasn't getting any better. 

Nothing was changing.

He wasn't winning this fight.

 

There was nothing he could. He couldn't ask, he couldn't beg. He couldn't signal or free himself. He couldn't hope for rescue. It was just them. 

This would end when they ended it.

They would free him. He had to believe they would free him. 

When?

He needed to know when. 

A sob welled in his throat, and his cheeks were itchy and warm and wet. He was still crying. 

 

There was nothing left of Tsukishima Kei. He couldn't bring himself to care at all. There was nothing left. 

He was shaking like a leaf when the mask was pulled away, and the headset pulled through his hair and uncovered his ears. Light and sound filtered in and his lips parted, shuddering in a breath as he stared. It hurt his eyes and they wanted to squint but he didn't. There was only dull noises, the scuff of a sock and the mask clicking on the table and the distant distant hum of a refrigerator. It was all real. It was real again.

He was real again.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't fit this in because it would break out of the scene and I like it how it is.
> 
> In this, Tsukki is with people he trusts. It was just a sort of intense scene to... "leave him alone with himself". From the picture, I liked the idea of Tsukki maybe being a little claustrophobic - not the physical pressing of walls around him, but rather his perception. He can handle darkness and the like with his music, because music gives the world around him depth. Without it, the world ceases to exist.
> 
> As always, I love comments, and your support means the world to me ♥


End file.
